I am a happy mother of two children.
One is 17 months old, while the other is only 4 months...
Isn't it very close?

Well, I have to admit that this period, pregnancy + motherhood, wasn't exactly what I expected...

I followed all pregnancy recommendations with my first child, my daughter.
I ate all of my vitamins and extra food, I checked my weight on a regular basis, I paid attention to every detail, and I asked my husband to sing lullabies to my belly as much as possible (he is French, so I ended to learn French songs...).

As a doctor, I knew breastfeeding was one of the best treatments we could give our child when she was born.
Unfortunately, my breasts did not produce enough milk,  and my daughter couldn't grasp the breast easily so she went hungry and began to lose weight...
I was so distraught that I wanted to take any advice I could get...

And I got a lot of them...
From family to friends to strangers I'd never met before...
Everyone has an opinion, but no one can explain it...
You can imagine how guilty I felt when I combined it with the stress of being a new mother...
Especially when a relative tells me that my milk is worthless and that I should switch to formula milk...
Until I keep fighting, pumping every three hours, day and night (which I despise), feeding her with a bottle and my milk till she can breastfeed and satisfy her hunger (which I was so relieved).

Despite the Covid period, she never felt sick, and I hope her body is strong enough to face any life events.

My second child, a boy, arrived prematurely.
Because his lungs were not fully developed when he was born, he contracted a type of pneumonia.
We'll never know if he would have benefited from better treatment when I first started having contractions, or if I would have avoided getting a Covid vaccine after his third month.
All I can say is that some people were careless during the process, and I have lost faith in them.

Anyway, because I was preoccupied with the first child, I didn't give this second child as much attention as I did the first.
So you can imagine my guilt when he was born premature.
Again, I tried to gather as many recommendations as I could...
And once again, I received a variety of advice, both positive and negative.
The worst was probably the Internet / Instagram / FaceBook where I belonged to a mother's group: there, you always have perfect mothers with perfect children.
Those super mothers feed their children the best food possible; after pumping all night, they get up at 5 a.m. to prepare the best meal for their children. They are, of course, in great shape, participate in sports on a regular basis (one even works out while breast pumping! ), and keep their homes immaculate.

They always videotape their toddler eating the food and completely finishing the plate, so when I looked at my older... I felt guilty again: she never finishes her plate and even I struggle to cook the healthiest and most delicious food I can, she would simply ignore it...

Super Mom kids are fantastic; they sleep all night and look fabulous in pictures.
A real-life example of "easy baby."
While mines... well, I'm not sure when I last got a full night's sleep...

Until I began to suspect something... What if they are making it up?

Add to that the fact that I am exhausted from pumping for the second one, and I began to envy those super moms...

I went back over those posts and videos... and I noticed that we are missing any information...
We have no idea how many people work behind the camera... the light is always perfect, the frame is at the top, the edit is fantastic...
So WHEN could those super moms do those kinds of posts in addition to taking care of their child (alone), making videos (still alone), going shopping (alone), and working (occasionally)??

So... one word... fake... or partially true...

I felt so relieved when I realized it... no more feeling guilty... no more...
"I am the best mother for my children," my husband always said...
That is correct, we, mothers, are the best ones for our kids when we fight for them..
Even it is never always so perfect or successful...
At the very least, we will continue to fight for them...
The worst-case scenario would be to give up.

Knowing what happened to mother being's life, I realized that the same thing happened to other topics such as Skin Care and Cosmetics: we are surrounded by so many people with super skin or wonder brands claiming to be the best that we envy them... but what if it is a filter of their reality or in other word... a fake ?

I'm not pretending that everything is not trustworthy; rather, I'm pretending that we must pay attention to every detail:
A woman claiming that a product is fantastic because she has no more wrinkles after the first application means she either had botox or Photoshop, or she would never have wrinkles before...

As a doctor, I can attest that every treatment takes time to produce positive results.
So stop feeling guilty and worried about the worst that could happen in your life: Worry leads to Stress that leads to an unhealthy condition.
It is preferable to have a few minor wrinkles and live a happy life than to be stressed and being unhealthy and eventually develop many more wrinkles.

Stay calm, be yourself according to your personality, and enjoy your life; life is beautiful, and your health will thank you.

About the Author : Dr. Toey is Belle de Jour / Personality Skincare co-founder.
She enjoys traveling and learning about natural ingredients that are both healthy and efficient.
She is the mother of two beautiful children and pays close attention to the products she uses for herself and her family.